Life, Loss, & Everything in Between.

emo

Ugh, stupid emotions.

It’s been awhile since my last post, and for the 9 of you who check this blog out regularly I’m sure you’ve been very concerned over my lack of content. For that I am sorry, and while I make this promise every time I slack off (and will probably break this vow again), I swear I will begin posting more consistently. I wish I could tell you I’ve been off living some grand adventure filled with amazing moments and memories.

Unfortunately my lack of “blogging” pretty much comes down to real, mundane, boring life getting in the way of my non-essential online bitching.

I returned to work at the end of January, and nothing sucks creativity out of you more than your monotonous 9-5 grind. The job itself hasn’t changed, and I do enjoy what I do on a basic level, but overall Corporate America just turns me into a greyed out, colorless version of myself (yes, like the movie Pleasantville). Honestly I think my melancholia (the feeling, not the movie Melancholia) would lessen if I was given the ability to work from home.

Wrestling snapped back into focus with NCW’s 2015 Season kicking off in February. We’ve been putting on some of our best shows ever over the last few months, drawing great crowds and receiving fantastic feedback from wrestlers and fans alike. 18 years in, it still amazes me how far we’ve come (although still light years away from being what I would call “great”. We’re good). I should be enjoying the fruits of NCW’s labors a lot more, but the politics of pro wrestling have reared its ugly head making for a tenser locker room than I’d prefer. In addition to the ridiculous exploits and meltdown of a certain friend of mine (more on that soon), the bad has outweighed the good since NCW’s return. Hopefully we’ve turned the corner though, and things will get better from here on out.

ncw then and now

Loss has clouded many things over the last couple of months for me. One of my very best friends in this world (Mikey P) lost his Nana in March, right near the anniversary of my own Grandmother’s death. Mike’s Nana was an amazing woman, and had been fighting her health issues years before we even met. I remember the first time I met Nana, it was 2007 right before we left for our New Years trip to Canada. I was picking Mike up from his house in Brockton, and she came right out the front door to say hi. She then told us to be careful, and for me to take care of him on our vacation. As I pulled away I could still see her from the rear view mirror watching us, making sure we were safe. I saw the love she had for Mike that day, and I saw it every day after that until her last breath. She was truly a wonderful human being, and while I’m not sure how religious I am these days I’d like to think she’s still watching over him.

Loss hit even closer to home this past week, as my cousin Lynn suddenly passed away, dying in her sleep the Friday before Mothers Day. She was young, only 55 years old and leaving behind her son Ryan. Lynn grew up with my Mom and Aunts, and had a very close relationship growing up much like I have with my 1st cousin MTE. She was an important person in our life. She was a friend, a neighbor, and a good person. While she was never the easiest person to deal with at times, she was family who I loved very much. My Papa was the first of my immediate family to die, and that was in 1996. Since then the loss of the Lambert’s, the Connors’, and the Halliday’s has only grown with each passing year and the older I get the more it will happen. It’s what life eventually becomes.

The best eulogy I could think in the heat of the moment of I posted on Facebook following the news of Lynn’s passing. And for now, I leave you with this–

After a great weekend with some friends Friday, a concert on Saturday and then a beautiful day with my Mom on Sunday I received some awful news this morning that snaps everything into focus.

Enjoy the time you have now with the ones you love.

Enjoy the time you have left in this world to do something amazing. Don’t hesitate to do things you’ve always wanted to do, and stop holding meaningless grudges that only hold you back in enjoying life.

Or don’t. It’s yours to do with what you want.

 

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