Valar Morghulis: All Men Must Die

LADY MORMONT

We live in a scary world.

With news coming out of the capital that the Sept of Baelor was left in ruins following a brutal terrorist attack of unprecedented anarchy that saw wildfire ignited in the heart of King’s Landing, a suicidal King Tommen, the first of his name (and apparently last of his name), could not bear to live in a world without his beautiful wife Queen Margaery, as the last Baratheon jumped to his death from the window of his chambers, spectators witnessed. 

In the aftermath Baratheon’s mother Cersei Lannister ascended to the crown to seize the Seven Kingdoms for herself and while there are questions regarding the line of succession, no one seems to be speaking out on the matter in fear of upsetting the grieving Queen, who also lost her uncle Kevan Lannister and fiancée Loras Tyrell in the wildfire attack on the Sept.

As if the carnage in King’s Landing wasn’t enough, white ravens appeared en masse finally signaling the arrival of winter. After what seemed like a 6 year fall and a lot of hype, winter has finally come. When asked about the forthcoming ‘Long Night’, House Stark representative and recently banished red woman Melisandre reiterated her forecast—“The night is dark and full of terrors… Also wear gloves to prevent frostbite.”

My Lady Lyanna Mormont has promised us a big BBQ celebration now that House Stark has reclaimed their ancestral home Winterfell. Everyone here is pretty psyched for the party, though we’re suspicious of the flayed meat being served. Eh, it’s better than those pies we got from House Frey. 

On the other side of the globe rumors abound that a thousand ships have left the great city of Mereen heading west, hoarding an assortment of pirates, savages, sand snakes, eunuch’s, and fucking dragons. While the noble houses of Westeros have concerned themselves with their own infighting and politics over the last few years, everyone has seemingly forgotten about that Khaleesi who’s amassed quite the army since then. King Robert was concerned, but everyone else has just kind of shrugged and forgotten about her. He understood this game for the throne. A game… Of the thrones? Nah, that sounds stupid.

Until next time,

westerosiblogger@bearisland.com

 


The following was satire. Please don’t take this too seriously or showing disregard for what’s happening in the news right now.

The world is a scary place. That much is true. Between the Istanbul terrorist attacks, the Orlando shooting, Donald Trump’s America, there’s a lot to be scared for. Don’t be too scared to live though. Every day is a fight to teach the next generation to be better human beings. My generation (I guess Gen-X to be specific) is still paying the price for the mistakes of our parents, and unfortunately for the majority we’re too stubborn to evolve ourselves. Keep fighting. But fight not with weapons, hate, or intolerance. Fight with love, understanding, and hope. Just be a better human to everyone around you.

And watch Game of Thrones, it’s a great show.

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