Hours before deadline, I began working on a project that had been fermenting in my head. 95.5 WBRU, the local alternative rock station in Providence was holding a contest where you had to redesign the artwork for the newest Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness album Zombies On Broadway.
Right now I feel a bit like Elliot Alderson, unable to decipher the difference between the real world and what’s going on inside my mind. What’s reality? What isn’t? Did people really hate the second season of Mr. Robot that much?
Infecting my ear for the last few months is the amazingly talented Julia Nunes, with the singer/songwriter getting stuck in my head since seeing her open for The Mowgli’s back in April. I’ve seen (and loved) The Mowgli’s for awhile now but leaving The Met that night I found myself seeking out all things Ms. Nunes as her lyrics swarmed my brain and wouldn’t let up.
Perhaps it’s because I’ve feeling wistful about recent happenings (more on that later, I promise) but her songs have hit me harder lately than normal. Please seek her out, she rocks.
The year has come to an end, and frankly I couldn’t be happier to put these last twelve months in my rear view. It’s been a year of loss and change, and I realize the older I get the more this will become the norm rather than the exception.
It’s slowly fading away as the weight of the world crushes down on me. There’s a perfect lyric in Say Anything’s “Colorblind” that speaks to me directly, despite the fact that Max Bemis has no idea who I am.
“I move too slow and I think too fast.”
That’s me in a nutshell, and lately it has overwhelmed me as I deal with work, my health, a chaotic living situation, dysfunctional family members, temperamental friends and a locker room of professional wrestlers. I’m hoping to come out on the other side of this, but I could really use a sign that things are going to work out.
But where are you now?
Where are you now?
Do you ever think of me
In the quiet, in the crowd?
You said no one would ever know
The love that we had shared.
As I took my leave to go it was clear you didn’t care.>>
I don’t have anywhere else to put this.
You may never see this.
I’d be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t thinking of you today. It scares me because as time goes on I think of you less and less in my daily life. I’ve moved on from the dreams we had, and we’ll never be what we were. Maybe some days you still think of me, and if you do know that I wonder where you are now, and that you’re okay. Happy Birthday.
As I sit here and attempt to type with a ridiculous hangover I marvel at the fact we’re now living in the age of Back to the Future Part II, wearing jackets too big, our pockets inside out, and kicking up dirt on our classic Mattel Hoverboards (the power based Hoverboard is too expensive). The world is a wonderful place.