August was a tough month.

It’s been years now, but no matter how much time has passed or where we are in life–

…when I see you, it all melts away…

The toughest part of being who I am, is that I have to be the stronger person. I had to be the “adult”and I had to walk away after standing by your side for long. You pushed as hard as you could until I couldn’t stand anymore. And you’ve moved on. You’re to be married… You’re daughter is growing into a beautiful young lady… You’re about to have the baby you thought you’d never have again. Your happiness is all I ever wanted for you, and though I hope you have a sliver of it in the life you chose, the truth is I know how hard it is for you. And I know how much happier you’d be if it was me by your side.

I sometimes wonder if I’ve moved on, and while I’ll live and will love again I don’t know if I’ll ever love the way I loved you. I wanted to speak to you that day, but I knew if I did it would be all over for me.

I’ve been obsessed with Lana Del Ray as of late, and whenever I hear this song from her latest album Ultraviolence it reminds me of us. I hope it finds you.