When I found out that Joe Bob Briggs was returning to TV (sort of) for one final movie marathon, I immediately flash-backed to my early teens watching these schlock movies I’d never heard of, discovering the joy of drive-in cinema all with the comforts of Joe Bob slinging his hysterical anecdotes and drive-in totals. It felt like something I wasn’t supposed to watch, and called out to my weird and quirky sensibilities.

Weekends back then would primarily revolve around ECW Hardcore TV on Friday nights and TNT MonsterVision on Saturdays with whatever other pop culture I could sandwich in between. What more could a 14-year-old ask for? Probably a girlfriend… Yeah, definitely that.

Anyway, The Last Drive-In w/ Joe Bob Briggs? I was 100% in.

The horror themed streaming service Shudder would be hosting this trip down nostalgia lane, and as the days drew near I could barely contain my excitement. Kicking off at 9pm EST on Friday the 13th, I set aside nearly everything on my calendar in order to fully enjoy The Last Drive-In in all its glory.

Now you might be sitting here and wondering what the fuck is wrong with me, and I wouldn’t argue that opinion. In an age where everything is available immediately at your fingertips why bother to watch something in real-time, especially when it’s some of the most ridiculous horror movies in existence inter cut with the ramblings of an old man?

To truly appreciate the brilliance of Joe Bob Briggs I present you with Exhibit A, one of my favorite episodes ever on MonsterVision featuring the Friday the 13th Movie Marathon.

Amazing.

I downloaded the Shudder app on my phone after work on Friday eve and headed out to pick up some snacks and goodies to get me through the night. I knew it would be tough staying up since I was no longer in my teens, and would need some boosters to keep me going.


8:55PM

  • I hopped on the Shudder app at about 5 minutes to 9 after ordering pizza and cracking open my 1st beer of the night only to find the app unresponsive and crashing each time I tried to access it. After attempting about twenty separate times the best I could get was the trailer for the marathon.

  • I quickly hopped on the Facebook page for Shudder and the event page for The Last Drive-In to see if it was just a ‘me issue’ but it quickly became apparent this was a problem everyone was experiencing.
  • After reading through countless comments of irate and angry Joe Bob fans, I at least felt comfort that I wasn’t alone. Also nothing unites geeks like something not working properly. Luckily whomever was running the Joe Bob Briggs Facebook page kept fans updated and in good spirits.

  • I continued trying to access the app, and then hopped on my Firefox browser via my PC and the Google Chrome browser on my laptop to just see which one would work first. In the interim I played a little Dr. Mario and tried not to dwell too much on my discontent.

9:30PM

  • Now I was starting to get angry, having wasted a beautiful Friday night to hit refresh over and over. Looking through people’s posts and memes, I was inspired to make my own to illustrate what a bummer this was turning out to be.
My 2 minute quick job edit. No one said I was an artist.
  • With the pizza getting cold and the beers flowing my rage began to intensify. I was missing out on Tourist Trap, but if I missed Sleepaway Camp I was gonna blow! I decided to send an email to Shudder, at least to be one more of the hundreds of thousands to flood their inbox during this national crisis.

9:44PM

  • At least I got a fairly quick response. And yes Julia, your reply was very ‘happy face’. High marks indeed.
  • I started to make piece with the fact I might miss out on the majority of the marathon as I began eating my BBQ chicken pizza while checking my phone, PC, and laptop continuously trying to get the stream loading.

 

10:34PM

  • OMG. Success!!!!! My laptop got the feed from Shudder TV working long enough to cast from Google Chrome to my Chromecast just in time to catch the end of Tourist Trap. I’ve never been happier.
  • I’d never seen Tourist Trap (1979) before, but I joined just in time to see Tanya Roberts get a knife to her back by some creepy mannequins. Definitely not the whimsical wonder of Mannequin 2: On the Move. After the creepy finale I loved hearing the story from Joe Bob about how composer Pino Donaggio took 1/6th of the budget from the film for his fee seriously hindering the budget of the film.
  • Alas, I got my hopes up too soon. As soon as Joe Bob said we’d be right back with a very special guest for movie #2 the stream cut out and went to black. I was back at square one.

11:25PM

  • Heaven is a place called Earth.
  • After more failed attempts through the app and PC, Google Chrome was once again my savior as the stream began playing about halfway through Sleepaway Camp. Also loved that Felissa Rose was the special guest hanging out with Joe Bob… And man she’s quite the fox.
This guy gets it.
And I’m almost out of beer.

1:12AM

3:30AM

  • Fading, fading, fading…. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Goodnight Prowler. Goodnight Joe Bob.

5:45AM

  • Woke up and saw that my laptop was overheating while Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama was playing. Shut down the lappy and started playing the movie off of the Shudder app from my phone as I fell back to sleep for a couple more hours.

9:32AM

  • Woke up to Blood Feast and was not disappointed. There’s no going back to sleep after this.

10:15AM

  • I’ve only heard about Basket Case, but this is the first time I’ve ever gotten to see it. Holy shit is it great! I’m so glad that The Last Drive-In is a thing.

12PM

  • Creepy mutant Siamese twin brother just wanted to get laid. Dammit I gotta get ready to run my errands for the day.

1:15PM

  • WHAT!? Re-Animator??? I can’t leave now.

3:11PM

  • Joe Bob goes off on quite the rant heading into Demons. I’ve read some things about the politics of John Irving Bloom (who is of course Joe Bob Briggs), and while I can’t speak on that I can agree with the fact that Trump is not smart enough to push some conspiracy minded Orwellian future on everyone. He’s just a dumbo who can barely order off of a Dunkin Donuts breakfast menu. Unfortunately I’ve got to head out to get some NCW work done, but will be checking in on the feed while I’m out.

4:29PM

  • Joe Bob goes into a great tirade attempting to explain the convoluted history of Demons and its ‘sequels.’ This is worth the price of admission alone.

4:45PM

  • I did not in fact leave to run errands. Demons sucked me in.

5:01PM

Movie was pretty great, with a bitchin’ soundtrack!

5:22PM

  • The Legend of Boggy Creek! No offense to the mysterious Sasquatch, but I’m making a beer run.

6PM

  • The Yeti posted an article over at tnhorror.com talking about the issues with the Shudder stream and the community coming together to celebrate Joe Bob Briggs. I can admit to being somewhat cuntish about the whole thing, but still found the community of people supporting The Last Drive-In funny, engaging, and incredibly respectful. He brings up some pretty good points.

6:26PM

  • Joe Bob and the gang break out into song with ‘Hey Travis Crabtree’. Thank God because this movie was putting me back to sleep. I had to start doing the dishes just to keep me occupied.
  • With my mind wandering I’m now wondering if the Happy Madison movie Strange Wilderness received any inspiration from The Legend of Boggy Creek? At this point I’m pretty sure only Chris Venom and I remember Strange Wilderness.

6:52PM

  • Took a quick shower to recharge my batteries. Cracked open a new 6 pack.

7:15PM

  • I haven’t talked about Darcy the Mail Girl at all, but she definitely fits into the mold. She’s got the right level of snark, and has garbonzas (pardon my French) to die for. I went down the rabbit hole on her Twitter (@Kinky_Horror) and uh… got very distracted. I can’t believe I’m still going. Watching the movies that is…

7:30PM

  • Hellraiser! Well this is a surprise, though a pretty clear indication we’re not getting any Friday the 13th flicks, which is a total bummer.
  • Joe Bob rants like nobody else. I’m also hoping this is all a long con and he announces that he’s coming back part-time to do movie marathons on Shudder. That would be one definite way to keep my subscription going.

8:16PM

  • Took a walk around the yard to keep myself energized and force some fresh air on my ass. If I was 14 still this wouldn’t be a problem, but 35-year-old me could just conk out and sleep the night away.

8:43PM

  • I’m not sure I’ve ever seen the complete Hellraiser uncut before, but Joe Bob is spot on that at its heart this is a love story. A really fucked up one with sadomasochistic overtones, but a love story nonetheless. I’m very curious what the final movie will be as we get into the home stretch. Also Joe Bob playing with a rubick’s cube is genius.
  • Joe Bob’s website will be hosting an updated trivia quiz to win a special edition Last Drive-In t-shirt to amend the original contest since so many couldn’t get into the stream last night.

9:06PM

  • Frank just stabbed that bitch, and I eagerly await Pinhead and the Cenobites taking him away. #Hellraiser
  • OH! And it’s been 24 hours since this madness started, and I’m still standing sitting laying down.

9:11PM

  • They’re here.
  • Kristy really showed those fuckers who’s boss.

9:30PM

  • 24 hours and 12 movies later here we are as Joe Bob presents the final film for The Last Drive-InPieces (1983)!
  • What the fuck is Pieces?
  • Joe Bob getting into the history of horror movie hosts is everything.
  • Learning about John Zacherle was incredibly interesting, and shows what a wealth of knowledge Joe Bob is for cinema as a whole.

9:41PM

  • Apparently the stream began freezing for people (including Tracy who is running Joe Bob’s Facebook page) just as Pieces was set to begin. I’ve been very fortunate since the issues last night.

10:12PM

  • I spoke too soon… Google Chrome froze, and nothing’s working on the Shudder app from my phone.

10:33PM

  • I’m tapping out. I’ll be keeping tabs on the @Shudder and @Kinky_Horror Twitter feeds to see if I miss anything important (oh like say the official return of Joe Bob Briggs and a Drive-In series) but in the grand scheme of things I don’t think I’m missing out too much on Pieces. I will add it to Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama and Daughters of Darkness on the list of movies to watch On Demand this week.

10:37PM

  • And they’ve pulled me back in!!!! Shudder uploaded the entire marathon to its On Demand service with the ability to start at whatever movie you please. Class act on Shudder’s part, and makes me more willing to give them a shot with future stuff. That Steven Yeun movie looks pretty good (The Not-Belko Experiment).

11:05PM

  • I think I prefer Joe Bob talking about the movie rather than watching Pieces, but I’m just grateful it’s On Demand.

11:18PM

  • Wasn’t expecting Kendall’s dick to show up! Not sure if he’s hanging dong though. The dubbing in this movie is hysterically bad. #Pieces
  • This movie is giving waterbeds a bad name. To be fair, I was a six year old with a waterbed, and it was bomb.

11:33PM

  • As expected the Joe Bob Briggs website crashed when their t-shirt quiz went live. The mutants are in full force!
  • I’m about 20 minutes behind everyone else, but the Tweets and FB posts seem to indicate there’s no announcement of a full-time Drive-In revival. Hopefully the overwhelming reaction and support of this marathon will show Shudder the demand for JBB.

11:53PM

  • It’s the cop right? They’re playing us to make it seem like the Dean, right?
  • Nope just kidding it’s definitely the Dean.
I’m not crying you’re crying.

11:59PM

  • BULLS-EYE.

12:02PM

  • Oh shit Kendall loses that dong! What a finale!

12:08PM

  • Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
  • See you in 2035 Joe Bob.


These are the movies featured on The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs. All movies (with Joe Bob commentary) ARE NOW available On Demand through Shudder.com. Try Shudder with a 7 day free trial and only $4.99 a month!

Tourist Trap
Sleepaway Camp
Rabid
Prowler
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama
Daughters of Darkness
Blood Feast
Basket Case
Re-Animator
Demons
The Legend of Boggy Creek
Hellraiser
Pieces

You can follow my exploits on Twitter @LLCoolJCH
You can listen to my podcast about Pro Wrestling, Movies, & Pro Wrestling Movies at http://ThreeWayTheater.com and all podcast listening devices
You can follow my wrestling promotion NCW at http://theNCW.com

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